We have just published a post about food jokes for children. However, there are also many funny food-related jokes that are not ideal for the younger ones… but are perfect for adults. Let’s have a look!
Food Jokes for Adults
1. According to my Chinese waiter, white people all look alike, and she gave my order to someone else at the restaurant. Oh, I’m sorry that wasn’t my waiter.
2. Everything has gotten so expensive these days with inflation. But do you know how you can still get gas for only $1.29?
Go to Taco Bell
3. I thought that onions were the only food that made me cry until someone threw a coconut at my face.
4. Marriage is like Indian food. It starts hot and spicy but ends up with someone crying in the bathroom and regretting their choices.
5. The pizza delivery guy got arrested for selling drugs. I have been his customer for several years, and I didn’t know he delivered pizza.
6. What did the egg say to the boiling water? I’m sorry it’s taking longer for me to be hard. A chick got me laid.
7. Why did Eve eat the forbidden apple? She was tired of Adam’s Banana.
8. How do you fruits that are twins? Pears
9. Vegans don’t moan during sex because they don’t like the idea of getting pleasure from meat.
10. What food is Icarus afraid of? Hot Wings
11. What’s a vegan worst nightmare? To be stuck on a deserted island and unable to tell a soul: “I am a vegan.”
12. My wife became vegan. I can assure you that I never met hervibore.
13. My neighbor complained about having a bad day. I anonymously sent her a meat lover’s pizza. She is a vegan, and I hate her.
14. It is impossible to starve in the desert because of all the sand which is there.
15. My daughter loves to drink chocolate. She is a cocoanut
16. A friend of mine got food poisoning from a Mexican joint. I asked him what it was, but he didn’t want to Taco bout it.
17. My daughter ordered spring rolls at a Chinese restaurant. I asked for winter rolls, and she said: “enough with the Dad.” I replied: “Pumpkin, nothing is Wong with what I said.”
18. “I like my men the way I like my coffee: rich, hot, and keeping me up all night.” Nobody asked you, Charles.
19. I tried beef stew as my password but got rejected because it wasn’t stroganoff.
20. I want to introduce you to my Hamburger friend. Meat Patty.
21. My wife told me: “buy a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs buy me a dozen.” They had eggs, so I bought 12 gallons of milk.
22. I ate alphabet soup and had to rush to the toilet because of the vowel movement.
23. They say that the hot dog movie was so good that it will be an Oscar weiner.
24. A man returns home with a gallon of Ice Cream. Do you want some? He asked his wife. She said: “only if it’s hard,” The husband said: “it’s as hard as my c0ck. She said: “pour me some of that milkshake.”
25. Vanilla Ice, how do you like your pizza? Sliced, Sliced Baby.
26. What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common? Somebody didn’t pull out in time.
27. A boy walks into an Ice Cream shop. The shopkeeper says, “What can I get you, young man!” The little boy says: “Do you guys have onion-flavored ice cream?” The man said: “sorry, we don’t.”
The next day, the boy again asks for onion-flavored Ice Cream.
That kept going for 2 or 3 weeks until the man thought to himself:
“I’m going make onion flavored Ice cream for this little guy.”
And he stood up all night to make it great.
The boy comes the next day, “Welcome,” says the shopkeeper,
The boy tells the usual lines: “Do you have onion flavored Ice cream?” the man excitingly says: “Yes, we do” the boy then replies:
“Wow, you guys must be crazy; who would buy that shit?”
28. Ancient Greek nobles paid their philosophers with grapes, bread, and wine. That was food for thought.
29. How can you tell a vegan from a computer programmer? One is disgusted by a rack of lamb, and the other hates a lack of Ram.
30. Vegans think people who sell meat are immoral, but they don’t know that those who sell fruits are grocers.
31. I went to church to learn how to make ice cream in Sundae School.
32. I went to see my Doctor, and she said: “You can’t eat anything fatty.”
I said: “What, like bacon and fried stuff?”
she replied, “No. Fatty, you can’t eat anything.”
33. I ordered dinner, and the employee told me: “I’m going to need a name and a number. So I told him: “I’ll call you ‘Steve and you’ll be number 5.
34. While everyone criticized my cooking, the smoke detector thought it was lit.
35. What did the chef cooks with when he was upset? He uses angrydients
36. I hate German sausage; it’s the wurst.
37. Where does Harry Potter orders food? From Dumble Door Dash.
38. Why do the French eat snails? Because they hate fast food.
39. What do you call a green King of Rock? Elvis Parsley.
40. Did you hear about the peanut who went to space? It was an astronut.
41. Maria is a beautiful lady that loves Mexican food. I call her Taco Belle.
42. The owner of an Italian restaurant died. He pasta way.
43. Farmers make great DJs. They can drop some beets.
44. How did Moses make beer? He brews.
45. Why did the kid eat the homework? The Teacher said it was a piece of cake.
46. What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts; I’m going to blow you hard.
47. I knock before opening the refrigerator’s door; it might be a salad dressing inside.
48. A guy went to the emergency room, and the Doctor told him: “You have lettuce sticking up your butt. The man replied: “that is just the tip of the iceberg.”
49. Some guy threw a carton of milk at me. How dairy.
50. A sandwich asked for whiskey at a bar, and the bartender said: “sorry, but we don’t serve food here.”
51. A guy orders fruit punch in a bar. The bartender told him to wait in line. The guy replied, “I don’t see a punch line.”
52. I was addicted to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts; it was a rocky road.
53. I was afraid of planting an apple tree, but I grew a pear.
54. This guy threw a bottle of mayonnaise at me; I told him: “What the Hellman?”
55. I bought a dog at a bakery. It was a pure bread
56. Prince: “Snow White, why are you so happy?” Because after eating an apple, I’m finally getting a banana.
57. Do you like synonym buns? Only if they are like grammar used to make.
58. They say that the hot dog movie will be an Oscar weiner.
59. A woman stopped an Ice Cream Truck; when asked what flavor she wanted, she answered: “I don’t want any Ice Cream. I am a vegan and just wanted you to know.
60. What made the Ice Cream Life Coach so positive? Because he believed that everything is popsicle.
61. What is a horse’s favorite Ice Cream? Straw Berry.
62. Vanilla Ice, how do you like your pizza? Sliced, Sliced Baby.
63. What plant-based pizza do vegans prefer? Peperphony pizza.
64. What makes a good pizza joke? The delivery.
65. Why does everybody invites the mushroom to their pizza parties? Because he is a fungi.
66. How come Jabba never loses a pizza contest? Because nobody out pizzas the hut.
67. I ate a goat cheese pizza, and the goat got really mad
68. What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common? Somebody didn’t pull out in time.
69. Why are the pizza toppings so close together? Because there wasn’t mush room.
