Are you a big fan of edgy jokes? I’m a bit of an expert… Edgy jokes are like my life: Sad and pathetic, but people still laugh about it.
Here is a lengthy list of some of my favorites. I highly encourage you to read through them and check out some of the funny memes that we have provided as well. I sincerely hope you enjoy this list.
Are edgy jokes your favorite? If so, you should scroll through this list of edgy jokes and memes and see if you like them! We’ve curated some of the funniest edgy jokes and placed them here for you to enjoy!
Edgy Sensual Jokes
Which bedtime activity position will result in the worst kids? Well, just ask your mother.
9 out of 10 people agree: a gang r*pe is fun.
What’s the difference between a man and a snowstorm?
None: you don’t know how many inches you’ll get, when he’s coming, or how long it will stay.
In a wealthy family, the butler asks the dad for a raise. The dad asks:”Why would I even give you a raise?”
Butler: “There are two reasons. The first one is that someone said I’m a better cook than you”
Dad: “Who said that?”
Butler: “Your wife.”
Dad: “hmmm”
Butler: “The second reason is that I make love better than you”
Dad: “and who said that?? my wife???”
Butler: “No, the babysitter did.”
Dad: “ok… how much more money do you want?”
Edgy Blonde Jokes
A man goes to a food truck and sees the menu:
Cheeseburgers: $8
Fries: $3
Handj*bs: $20.
He asks the gorgeous woman working in the truck “are you the one doing the handj*bs”. “Yes” responds the blonde very suggestively.
The man responds: “Well, could you please wash your hands? I would like a cheeseburger.”
Q: Why do blondes like to wear panties?
A: They are trying to keep their ankles warm.
Edgy International Jokes
Let’s start with some of the edgiest Chinese jokes:
What do you call a surprised Chinese man? Ho Lee Fuk.
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity… She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung”.
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they’ve seen your dog.
Why doesn’t China have a cricket team? Because they eat the bat.
Let’s move on now to edgy Polish jokes & Russian jokes… remember that these jokes are meant to be good fun… I tried to stay respectful because ultimately I love Poland and my Polish friends and family too much. But let’s get started:
- Leon the Polish man came home early from work one day, and walked into his bedroom to see that his best friend was in bed with his wife! He was so angry and feeling depressed that he pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started giggling. “Don’t laugh” he responded: “you’re next!”
- In Poland’s largest mall there was a terrible power outage. People were stuck on the escalator for HOURS!
- Putin heard that many Russian soldiers are getting sick in Ukraine, so he sends a health inspector to join the Russian army to improve its sanitary conditions. The inspector asks a general: “How do you prepare drinking water?”. The general responds: “Well, first, we filter it. Then we boil it.” The inspector keeps digging: “And after that?” The general responds: “Well… just to be cautious, we just drink vodka.”
And finally a couple of edgy Mexican jokes. The Juan jokes are some of the next Mexican jokes. We have a few hilarious ones on this page. For example:
There is a big Mexican party tonight… And everyJuan is going.
Other Funny Edgy Jokes
I just asked my Siri, “Why am I still single?”. It activated the front camera, and hurt my feelings. I hate technology.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife grew frustrated as she changed out of her funeral outfit. She exclaimed, “Can I depend on you for anything?!”
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in the first place.
I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere. No footprints were left behind.
Useless people are good for something. They make me laugh when they fall down the stairs and hurt themselves.
The man entered a spooky forest to converse with a speaking tree. He chopped it down and shouted, “You will dialogue!”
My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her. We didn’t realize that was her blood type until it was too late.
Nemo and my dad must be great friends. They both can’t be found. Come to think of it, maybe they should have called the movie “Finding Dad!”
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home. I decided to kick him out since I hate visitors.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was, to be Frank in Stein.
Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? That’s how I realized I was adopted.
Why did the person miss today’s funeral? Because he definitely wasn’t a mourning person.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up all of my things and right… I mean left…
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it departs and never comes back.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?” “Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”
I just read that someone in New York City gets stabbed every 60 seconds. That must be an unlucky guy.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
Where did Joe go after getting lost in a minefield? He literally went everywhere.
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I decided to unplug his life support machine.
My parents always raised me as an only child, which really ticked off my sister.
What did the Titanic shout out loud as it went down? It shouted: “I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!”
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Zero. They sit in the dark.
I have a step ladder because my real ladder disappeared when I was a kid.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. Drop us a contact number and we’ll drop them off permanently.
I have many jokes about the unemployed population, but sadly none of them work.
The most corrupt CEOs are the ones who operate pretzel companies. They’re always so twisted.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them cast votes on their meals. They wanted spaghetti but I made soup because they don’t live in a tossup state.
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat just last week. I still haven’t found a way to put it down.
You’re not completely useless. We can use you as an example of what not to do.
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I’ve had severe anxiety ever since.
What’s the difference between a hipster and a football player? A football player takes the time to shower.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t even have a home page.
The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
It turns out that humans eat more bananas than chimps. I’ve never eaten a chimp before, though…
Try not to break someone’s heart, they only have one. You can break their bones instead, they have two hundred of them.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a common command that I use for my wife.
My grandfather’s last words were “are you holding the ladder?”. I remember the look on his face on the way down.
I learned a shortcut to the hospital is by standing in the middle of the interstate. It works every time!
Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? Usually… it’s the wheelchair.
What’s the main difference between jam and jelly? You can jam a clown into a tiny car, but you can’t jelly them into one.
My grandmother has the heart of a lion and she earned a permanent ban from the zoo because of it.
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
What’s the difference between baby potatoes and sweet potatoes? Usually about 160 calories…
You really don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, unless you want to do it again.
Today was terrible. My ex-wife just got hit by a bus, and coincidentally I just lost my job as a city bus driver.
Why was the leper hockey game postponed? There was a face-off in the corner.
They say the best way to a man’s heart is through their stomach. Honestly? I think their ribcage is easier.
What’s the last thing to go through a bug’s brain before it hits the windshield of a car going fifty miles per hour? Its butt.
What’s the special dish in a restaurant for cannibals? Heads, shoulders, knees, and toes.
Why are some friends like a layer of snow? If you go pee on them, they disappear really fast.
What should you call a dog with no legs? Does it make a difference? If you call him, he can’t come to you regardless.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why’s it that if you donate one kidney, people adore you? But if you donate six kidneys, they call the cops.
My senior friends liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” The jokes stopped when I showed up at a funeral and said the same thing.
Happy 60th birthday. You’ve finally reached the milestone where you can live undisturbed by life insurance agents!
What is it called if you walk into a restaurant and there’s a line of people waiting to hit you? That’s the punch line.
Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.
The cemetery is so crowded. People are just dying to get in.
I was drinking a beverage and the waitress screamed “Does anyone know CPR?” – I responded: “I know the entire alphabet”, we all laughed and joked, except for one guy.
I know a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
I childproofed my house. They still got inside – it didn’t work!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick-or-treating? They don’t know anyone to go with.
The only way that I’ll ever be ‘hot’ is through the cremation process.
I decided to go visit my childhood house this morning. I asked the people living there if I could come inside, but they closed the door in my face. Why do my parents hate me?
My favorite Disney movie is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I love a hero with a twisted backstory.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like in a fairy tale. So, that’s when I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest.
Sony just launched their new video game system during the COVID-19 outbreak. They named it the Plague Station 5.
I won’t be making jokes about the coronavirus to my sister anymore. They flu over her head.
My boss told me to have a great day. That’s the moment I decided to go home early. My day suddenly became great.
I just got fired from my job at the library for putting a Women’s Rights novel in the fantasy section. Whoops!
I started crying when dad started cutting onions. Onions was my favorite pet in the household.
My daughter asked me how stars die. I told her that the most common was through an ‘overdose’!
What do you call it when some of your friends make a lot of dumb coronavirus jokes? A pundemic.
What did Kermit the Frog say at his puppeteer’s funeral? Not a word.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? It’s the best way to keep the vegetables cold for long periods of time.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
Since the pandemic started, my wife just stands there sadly looking through the window. I’m not sure if I should let her back inside.
I thought opening a door for a woman was indicative of my good manners, but she screamed and flew out of the plane faster than anything I’d ever seen before.
I was raised as an only child, which is probably why my brother hates me so much.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!?
‘You the bomb.’ ‘No, you the bomb.’ Similar phrases with completely different meanings if you’re in the middle east instead of the U.S.A.
I asked my waiter how the restaurant prepares the chicken. He says that their secret is simply telling them that they are going to die.
My grief counselor passed away recently. He was so good at his job that I did not even care.
I stumbled upon a note that my wife left a note on the fridge. It read “This is not working…” – But I don’t understand? The fridge is working fine.
Option A: Let’s eat grandma. Option B: Let’s eat, grandma. There you have it. Proof that a little bit of punctuation can actually save an elderly person’s life.
I told my dad I was gay and asked whether he still loved me. He told me that I was an accident and that I was never loved in the first place.
I just realized that my girlfriend’s dog died, but I decided to buy her an identical replacement. She just screamed at me and said: “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?!”
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