We love the Chinese culture: the dishware, the food, even that big ole wall! We especially appreciate a good Chinese joke.
Confucius say nothing more contagious than laughter…at least until you catch the coronavirus.
We’ve compiled a wide variety of Chinese-themed jokes and memes for you to devour. Watch out because as you fill up on these jokes, an hour later you’ll be craving for more.
These jokes are only meant to be in good fun. Please always respect others.
Best Chinese & Covid Jokes
When the pandemic first started, no one thought Covid would last very long… because it was made in China.
The name of the first person who got covid has just been released.
He was Chinese and his name is Ha-Tchu.
What’s the only long-lasting thing from China? Coronavirus.
“That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they’ve seen your dog…”
Funniest Chinese memes
Here are the best jokes in a meme format:
The Chinese population in the US is apparently the fastest-growing… which is really surprising because Mexicans just have to cross a river to get to the United States. We Chinese people have to fly several thousand of miles… to get to Mexico, and then cross the river 😂 😂
Funny Jokes with Chinese Names
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie Won Shu.
What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese telephone. Wing-Wing Halo?
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man? Ho Lee Fuk.
I think I hooked up with a Chinese celebrity… She kept saying “I’m Wei Tu Yung”.
What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching.
Fu, Bu and Chu were 3 brothers from Hong Kong who moved to the U.S. They thought they should change their names to prevent anyone discriminating against them. Chu decided to become Chuck. Bu decided to become Buck. Fu decided to move back to Hong Kong.
The Financial times had a little fun with China’s leader Xi Jinping
Xi Jinping’s government in China intensified censorship efforts targeting Winnie the Pooh after memes comparing him to the beloved character gained traction. The censorship targeting Winnie the Pooh memes in China began around 2017 and continued for a few years:
A bear, however hard he tries, Falls foul of Chinese censors’ eyes https://t.co/ToOCHHZT7I pic.twitter.com/8H9ITqIc1M
— Financial Times (@FT) July 16, 2017
2 hilarious Chinese jokes
Sometimes the funniest jokes are not 1-liners. We have selected below 2 jokes that are slightly longer but definitely worth it! Starting with the Chinese doctor:
A Chinese doctor opens a clinic with a sign: “$50 treatment, guaranteed results: you get $200 back if not cured.” A patient thinks he can trick the doctor to get the $200, so he goes to see the doctor and says: “I’ve lost my sense of taste.” The doctor instructs his nurse: “Two drops from the red box.”
The patient tastes the drops and instantly reacts, “This is kerosene, it is disgusting!!”
The doctor smiles, “Great, your taste is back. $50 please.”
A few days later, the same patient returns, “This time doctor, I’ve lost my memory.” Again, the doctor instructs: “Two drops from the red box”. The patient exclaims, “This is kerosene! You gave it to me last time.”
The doctor smiles again, “Great, your memory is back. $50 please.”
A week later, the patient tries for a third time, “I can’t see.” The doctor hands him two bills, and admits: “I can’t cure your vision, here’s your $200.” The patient smiles but looks at the bills, “These are $1 bills, not $100 bills”
The doctor grins, “Great, your sight is back. $50 please.”
A man returns from a trip to China where he has had a few unprotected adventures. His willy has turned yellow. An American doctor shares with him the bad news that he caught a serious Chinese disease. “Unfortunately, says the American doctor, we will need to amputate.”
Panicked, the man wants a second opinion and figures he should see a Chinese doctor. After a quick physical exam, the Chinese doctor shares: “No, no, we won’t need to amputate.”
Deeply relieved, the man starts to thank his savior, but the doctor interrupts him:
“No, we don’t need to amputate, it will fall off by itself in a few days”.
Best Chinese Jokes Videos
What this video from Ronny Chieng joking about what Chinese people really love:
Jim Gaffigan made the best Chinese jokes. Watch this compilation:
What are the pronouns of an Asian person? (170,000 Likes)
Alan reveals the truth in this short video:
Other Quick Chinese Jokes
What do you say to a fat Chinese man? “You got more chins than a Chinese phone book”.
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera? Humiliating.
Chinese kid was born before the due date. The parents named him Sudden Lee.
When Kim Jong-Un said to nuke the Chinese, he meant to put the takeaway in the oven.
Everything is made in China… except for baby girls.
What did the Chinese man say when he fixed the lightbulb? Ching chong.
I’d tell you a Chinese joke but it’s so wong.
How do chinese people name there children? They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, Ching Chong Chang.
When Chinese babies are born they should stamp “Made in China” on them.
Why do they say that even weekends are made in China? Because they never last long, but they take a long time to arrive.
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man? One hung lo.
When can’t you have homemade Chinese food? Because you don’t have any pets. Just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang”!
What do Chinese parents hate the most? A newborn daughter…
What do you call a Chinese car thief? Tommy Tookamota.
Did you hear about the new Chinese food? It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
How do Chinese Cowboys greet each other? They say, “NiHowdy!
I saw a naked Chinese man in the elevators. Oh my god, it was so “wong” on so many levels!
According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2020 was the Year of the Rat so we’ve been spending the entire year holed up.
Why is it against the law to commit suicide in China? Because it’s considered to be destruction of government property.
We stop by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us “I am wan kin the manager.” So we just left in disgust!
At the restaurants, we complained that the lights were too strong so the manager decided to dim sum.
What did the Chinese company respond when informed about international “copyright” laws?
“Yes, we copy, allright?”
Why do commercial building owners love to lease their space to Chinese restaurants?
Because they are “lo mein” tenants.
A Chinese woman had an affair with the Russian President Vladimir Putin… they had a hidden child that was called “Winnie the Poo-tin.”
Did you enjoy these China jokes? We hope so and we hope that you’ll use them around your friends and family in the near future!
