Christine

he takes baths in his opponent’s blood.

For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other

Chuck Norris adds flavor to his steaks with pepper spray.

He decides what time it is.

he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with only his feet.

Chuck Norris can make fish drown.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman.

with a cordless phone.

He makes onions cry instead.