Christine

So my friend has been thinking about a new name for a few days now. He finally decided to call himself Juan and to run away to Mexico.

The US President hears that the largest manufacturing facility for condoms in the US is no longer functional for a full month. His advisers inform him that there is only …

Friend A: Do you like Imagine Dragons? Friend B: It’s not bad. Friend A: Well, imagine draggon Deez Nuts all over your face.

Friend A: Hey do you smell something? Friend B: hmm no Friend A (looking puzzled): you can’t smell deez nuts?

Friend A: Do you like this meal from Cook Manardee? Friend B: What meal? Friend A: Man Are Dee-z Nuts good!

What does Woodyou mean in Chinese? Woodyou mind licking deez nuts?!

Friend A (holding a lot of envelopes and stamps): hey can you help me for a minute and lick that? Friend B: lick what? Friend A: lick deez nuts!

Friend A: ok, really quick… what’s 4×2? Friend B: 8 Friend: would you like to 8 deez nuts?

You like furry animals, right?… do you like squirrels? Sure. Good, because I really would like to nut in your hole. (Ok, perhaps not the best pickup line…)  

Friend A: Do you know which nuts got bad ratings? Friend B: hmm? Friend A: Deez nuts